Massage Parlor Murders (1976)

Studio: Vinegar Syndrome

Theatrical Release: April 1976

DVD Release: April 9, 2013

Directors: Chester Fox and Alex Stevens

R

Review by James Klein

Talk about a time capsule! If one is ever nostalgic for 1970's NYC before it was Disney-fied, check out Massage Parlor Murders. There are some amazing location shots in this film that will have you begging for the good old days of strip clubs, nudie booths, and rat infested movie theaters. Throw in a bizarre naked pool party and two of the worst police officers in the city and you may have yourself a fun time watching Massage Parlor Murders. Doesn't the title alone make you want to check it out?

The movie starts off with a pointless prologue of a man going to a massage parlor for the first time. While it is interesting to see what unfolds, it serves no point and is almost used to pad out the already short running time. This sequence is actually edited out of the alternate cut, entitled Massage Parlor Hookers.

The film focuses on these two detectives who may be the worst cops in film history as they have no clue what they are doing. While one is always beating up suspects or cheating on his wife, the other steals a car to chase after a potential suspect only to yell at him when he is caught and letting him go while getting himself mixed up with a woman (Sandra Peabody, also known as Sandra Cassell, who starred in the controversial The Last House on the Left a few years prior) who could be the next target. These two idiots are unintentionally hilarious with their bad acting and over the top dialog. I had a ball watching these two dummies run about but some viewers may get annoyed by their insane behavior.

The two officers are on the trail of a serial killer who is killing the women who work at massage parlors. Each woman is being killed via different methods such as being stabbed, choked, smashed and one is even killed with acid. While it sounds rather graphic, Massage Parlor Murders is really cheap so most of the violence is done ala H.G. Lewis style.

While the film is poorly shot, horribly edited, terribly acted and at times runs too long with a weird abrupt ending, I couldn't help but enjoy the film for what it is: an exploitation film from another time. I loved watching the old cars, the billboards, the hair styles, the culture. This makes for a great late night viewing and for those who appreciate bad cinema, Massage Parlor Murders is for you.

The blu ray by Vinegar Syndrome is shockingly beautiful. They took this cheap flick and made it look like a million bucks. There is still a slight touch of grain but the film remains mostly crystal clear with vibrant colors. Vinegar did an amazing job on this blu ray and I personally can't wait to see what other films this company will release in the future. They even added some great special features like the alternate cut called Massage Parlor Hookers, silent outtakes with more nudity from the pool party (one outtake had me rolling as one guy walks by with a full erection) the theatrical trailers and even a radio spot. While the film isn't very good, this beautiful blu ray is worth taking a risk on.

[Rating: 3]