Backslasher (2012)
Studio: Brain Damage Films
Theatrical Release: Are you kidding?
DVD Release: November 20th, 2012
Rating: UnRated
Directed by Tim Cowles
Review by Craig Sorensen
Hey, do you like watching people update their blogs? Well have I got a movie for you! See Backslasher is all about blogs and Friendster and shit. You know, things that the kids these days “like”. You can tell right from the title that this is about the internet, and if there’s one thing that kids like it’s the internet. Hey, kids also like “slasher” films. I bet if you combined the the internet and killing people you’d get a real good film. If any of this sounds like a good idea then go right ahead and watch Backslasher. Maybe you’ll have a good time. I certainly didn’t.
So, this is about a dildo salesperson named Becca (Eleanor James of Dr. Psycho’s Chamber of Sadism 1: Sado-Nurses in Heat) who likes to update her blog and her “vlog” (which is short for video blog and is a stupid thing to say and I’m not sure people call them that anymore anyway). Becca’s the type of person who reads aloud as she types which is really helpful for the audience. Anyway, Becca sells dildos and lingerie at a store that I guess is some hot shit and she has lots of followers on her blog. So someone starts knocking off her friends and leaving cryptic notes for her on the internet. Is it one of her two male friends, or is it some random thing that you find out about in the last few minutes (spoiler alert: it’s the latter)? The real suspense here is whether or not you’ll be able to stay awake to find out.
Again, I’m forced to sit through a b-movie that commits the cardinal sin of b-movies. Yeah, Backslasher is fucking boring. You won’t care about any of these characters or their junior high school level drama. And there are only so many times I can watch someone typing on a laptop. Even the murders are boring. The killer is just some guy wearing a black hoodie. If you’re going to make a slasher film like this then you need a killer that’s going to make some sort of visual impact at least. Just having one of your friends wearing a hooded sweatshirt isn’t enough. Also, Backslasher is confusing. Not confusing in an enigmatic way, confusing in a we-didn’t-really-think-this-through sort of way. So, I’m going to spoil things a little bit here (I’m assuming you won’t mind because you probably aren’t going to watch this anyway), the killer has some sort of supernatural powers. Either he can travel through electricity or through the internet. It’s hard to tell which one because the rules seem to change throughout the film. At one point someone gets killed in the middle of the woods which would seem to negate both powers. And you don’t really find this out until the very end of the film. They don’t even throw out any clues that something weird is going on. It’s just “oh, by the way, this kids a ghost”, the end. On the positive side, the girls are cute and there’s a bit of nudity, which was more shocking than the violence.
The video looks fine I guess. It’s kind of lazily shot and a lot of the film has some bad post production color manipulation going on but I guess that’s par for the course these days. It didn’t look as bad as Deadly Renovations though so I’m not complaining. The DVD was only a screener so I can’t really comment on what the final version will look like or what kind of extras it’ll include. I don’t think I care anyway.
Theatrical Release: Are you kidding?
DVD Release: November 20th, 2012
Rating: UnRated
Directed by Tim Cowles
Review by Craig Sorensen
Hey, do you like watching people update their blogs? Well have I got a movie for you! See Backslasher is all about blogs and Friendster and shit. You know, things that the kids these days “like”. You can tell right from the title that this is about the internet, and if there’s one thing that kids like it’s the internet. Hey, kids also like “slasher” films. I bet if you combined the the internet and killing people you’d get a real good film. If any of this sounds like a good idea then go right ahead and watch Backslasher. Maybe you’ll have a good time. I certainly didn’t.
So, this is about a dildo salesperson named Becca (Eleanor James of Dr. Psycho’s Chamber of Sadism 1: Sado-Nurses in Heat) who likes to update her blog and her “vlog” (which is short for video blog and is a stupid thing to say and I’m not sure people call them that anymore anyway). Becca’s the type of person who reads aloud as she types which is really helpful for the audience. Anyway, Becca sells dildos and lingerie at a store that I guess is some hot shit and she has lots of followers on her blog. So someone starts knocking off her friends and leaving cryptic notes for her on the internet. Is it one of her two male friends, or is it some random thing that you find out about in the last few minutes (spoiler alert: it’s the latter)? The real suspense here is whether or not you’ll be able to stay awake to find out.
Again, I’m forced to sit through a b-movie that commits the cardinal sin of b-movies. Yeah, Backslasher is fucking boring. You won’t care about any of these characters or their junior high school level drama. And there are only so many times I can watch someone typing on a laptop. Even the murders are boring. The killer is just some guy wearing a black hoodie. If you’re going to make a slasher film like this then you need a killer that’s going to make some sort of visual impact at least. Just having one of your friends wearing a hooded sweatshirt isn’t enough. Also, Backslasher is confusing. Not confusing in an enigmatic way, confusing in a we-didn’t-really-think-this-through sort of way. So, I’m going to spoil things a little bit here (I’m assuming you won’t mind because you probably aren’t going to watch this anyway), the killer has some sort of supernatural powers. Either he can travel through electricity or through the internet. It’s hard to tell which one because the rules seem to change throughout the film. At one point someone gets killed in the middle of the woods which would seem to negate both powers. And you don’t really find this out until the very end of the film. They don’t even throw out any clues that something weird is going on. It’s just “oh, by the way, this kids a ghost”, the end. On the positive side, the girls are cute and there’s a bit of nudity, which was more shocking than the violence.
The video looks fine I guess. It’s kind of lazily shot and a lot of the film has some bad post production color manipulation going on but I guess that’s par for the course these days. It didn’t look as bad as Deadly Renovations though so I’m not complaining. The DVD was only a screener so I can’t really comment on what the final version will look like or what kind of extras it’ll include. I don’t think I care anyway.
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