Little Cigars (1973)

aka The Little Cigars Mob
Studio: MGM
Theatrical Release: June, 1973
DVD-R Release: Sept. 13th, 2011
Rated: PG
Review by Craig Sorensen




After robbing her mob boss sugar daddy at gun point (after he burns her with a cigar), Cleo (Angel Tompkins of Walking Tall Part II) takes off in her car and ends up in a greasy spoon diner.  She lands a job as a waitress (by showing some cleavage).  While working the counter she meets two midget performers from a traveling carnival troupe.  They beat up an unruly patron and invite her to see their show later that night.  She catches them in the act of robbing the crowd’s cars but has no choice but to join them after two hit men show up at the diner.  In true film noir fashion she convinces the head of the troupe, Slick Bender (Billy Curtis of High Plains Drifter) to commit more daring crimes.  Of course, also in true film noir fashion, this doesn’t end well for the Little Cigars...

You know, going into this I was kind of expecting a kiddie film kind of along the lines of C.H.O.M.P.S. (also released by AIP) or something.  The animated title sequence didn’t dispel that idea, even if it was all fairly phallic (maybe that was an oversight).  But the moment in the first scene where Tompkins burns her mobster paramour's penis with a cigar I had my doubts.  Still, you know, it’s the 70’s.  You could still see full on boobs in PG rated films.  In fact, “Little Cigars” is rated PG so how bad could it be?  Well, there’s swearing galore (shit, bitch etc.) bloody gunshots, hot coffee thrown in a guys face (that blisters up later), a midget strangles a guy with his own necktie, implied midget love making, and an Angelo Rossitto guest appearance (which would bump this up to an R now).

The film plays like a strange combination of a cheap 70’s kiddie matinee film and a sick 70’s neo-noir.  If this didn’t have midgets in it, it would star Joe Don Baker.  But it does star a group of midgets so in-between the spouts of violence and profanity you get old, bad vaudeville routines.  It’s a really strange tone for the film.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.  But I have a predisposition to the strange (and bad vaudeville).  So I don’t know if Little Cigars will work for everyone.  I fucking loved it however.  In fact, Little Cigars is probably one of my favorite films of the year.  It’s just such a weird viewing experience.

The transfer isn’t the best.  I’m not saying that it’s awful or anything, but it’s certainly not going to wow you or your friends (you have to watch “Little Cigars” with friends).  Look, it’s a cheap 70’s film.  I’m sure it wasn’t shot in the best of conditions.  And I’m sure that the film hasn’t been exactly taken care of.  I’m usually pretty happy with the MGM transfers so I’m assuming that they did the best that they could here.  It’d probably look better on a Blu-Ray but I’m not holding my breath for that (but I would ABSOLUTELY buy it).  It is in it’s original aspect ratio of 1:85:1 however so I’m not complaining.  The sound is fine here.  Everything sounded good to me with dialog and music sounding pretty clear.  It’s a decent mono track.  There are no extra features, which is a bit disappointing.  I was hoping for a trailer because I’d love to see how they tried to sell this to audiences.