The Telephone Book (1971)

Studio: Vinegar Syndrome

Theatrical Release: October 3rd, 1971

DVD Release: May 7th, 2013

Rating: X

Directed by Nelson Lyon

Review by Craig Sorensen

The Telephone Book stands at the intersection of cheap New York art films (think Warhol and Downey Sr.) and sleazy New York sex films (think Sarno or the Findlays).  It’s certainly an odd viewing experience, in a good way of course.  At a time like this, when even our low budget films seem to be structured with bland, cookie-cutter formulas, a film like The Telephone Book stands in stark contrast.  And even with it’s flaws (and they’re there, trust me) it’s an entertaining watch.

Alice (Sarah Kennedy of The Working Girls) spends most of her days laying around her spacious New York loft (wonder how much that costs now?) wearing motorcycle goggles and not much else.  One day she receives an obscene phone call.  And it turns out to be one of the most sexually transcendent moments of her life.  Alice makes a pledge to track down this caller, John Smith (Norman Rose of Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales), by tracking down every John Smith in the phone book (hence the title).

This leads Alice on a series of bizarre sexual adventures.  She meets dirty movie maker Har Poon (Bary Morse of Space: 1999), in the process of auditioning nude women for his big comeback film (including Warhol player Ultra Violet).  She also meets a flasher on the subway (Roger C. Carmel, Harry Mudd from Star Trek himself) who pays her to tell him dirty stories in exchange for change for the pay phone.  While this is happening, the film is intercut with documentary style talking heads speaking about their own obscene phone call antics.

So, for the most part, I enjoyed The Telephone Book.  I guess my biggest complaint would be that it feels like a very good short padded out to try to make it into a feature.  A lot of this has to do with the doc style talking heads intercut throughout the film.  While the stories they tell can be funny, watching a talking head talk for two or three minutes at a time over and over again can get old.  When the film sticks to Alice’s journey it’s fast moving and breezy.  Anytime the film cuts to a talking head it screeches to a stop.  The film kind of slows down again after Alice finally meets John Smith as well.  The whole sequence just goes on for too long.  The film does pick up again for a crazy animated sequence near the end though.  If this had had a more judicious editor I’d think it was damn near perfect.  As it stands though, it’s definitely entertaining and worth a look at the very least.  This is an era of filmmaking that we’re never going to get back to unfortunately so you should grab what you can now.

The Telephone Book has had a pretty poor time on video.  Mostly only heard about and rarely seen, the film was only available in terrible looking bootlegs at best.  Thankfully Vinegar Syndrome has stepped up to the plate and saved the film from obscurity.  Evidently the negatives are lost for this film so the transfer has been taken from a 35mm release print.  It’s in very good shape.  There’s very little damage and the film hasn’t been overly ‘cleaned’ of grain.  The stark black & white photography looks amazing and when the film does switch to color everything looks very natural.  The color sequences do look a bit rougher but I believe that’s the way the film looked on it’s release.

The Blu-Ray/DVD combo also includes a pretty good commentary with producer Merv Bloch and Joe Rubin, a couple of trailers (an original trailer and a sleazier looking reissue trailer retitled as Hot Number).  You also get some radio spots (always welcome for road trips) and a still gallery.

[Rating: 4 Stars]