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The Suckers / The Love Garden (1971 / 1972)

Studio: Vinegar Syndrome

Theatrical Release: 1971 and 1972

DVD Release: April 9, 2013

Director(s): Arthur Byrd, Mark Haggard

Not Rated

Review by James Klein

This Vinegar Syndrome double feature contains two soft core sex films that are nothing alike aside from sharing the same starlet, the late Barbara Mills. Mills, who passed away from hepatitis in 2010, was extremely beautiful and also not a bad actress considering what kind of films she starred in. She has decent screen presence as well and it's her presence alone that was the only enjoyable thing about these two films.
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The Suckers is a loose remake of The Most Dangerous Game. A husband and wife team (Mills plays the wife) along with their two pretty models decide to travel to the wilderness in an ultimate thrill seek as big game hunter Steve Vandemeer (Steve Vincent, from Nude Django) is hosting a strange party unbeknownst to his guests: the game is that these guests are the hunted and his hired goons including himself are going to go out in the woods with various weapons and pick off each person they find. While this sounds like a somewhat interesting premise, there is very little action to take place in The Suckers. It's just a soft core adult film that takes forever to get to the plot as the characters all walk about in a mansion and have sex with one another. There is even a flashback scene that comes out of nowhere that interrupts the film, making no sense whatsoever.
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While I rather enjoy cheap, 70's exploitation trash, The Suckers is just downright boring. There is no comedy (intentional or unintentional) that takes place, very little action and the sex scenes are a snoozer. There is a somewhat disturbing rape scene that takes place near the end of the film that just doesn't fit in with the tone that is already established. It suddenly turns into a "roughie" out of nowhere. The actress in this scene is very believable as it looks like she wants nothing to do with what is taking place. Can't blame her since she's being raped by a sweaty, thick mustached poor man's Robert Shaw.

It's strange that the better film, 1971's The Love Garden about a love triangle with a man and two women, is the more entertaining film. While this is also terribly dull, the actors try their best at making an arty romance which drifts at times into unintentional laughs but only briefly. The Love Garden is about a man named Mike (who looks like a cross between Robert Reed from The Brady Bunch and a monkey) who happens to come across a young woman swimming in a pool at his apartment complex named Clare (Linda York). Mike instantly falls head over heels for this gal but unbeknownst to him, she is a lesbian. Her lesbian lover Inez (Barbara Mills) doesn't take too fondly for the new man who may be entering Clare's life. Can Mike sway Clare to play for his team? Mills actually steals the movie as the jealous lover but she unfortunately isn't in the movie for very long.

The Love Garden is another bore but it does have a pretty funny narration by Mike that is meant to be meaningful and romantic but comes off as forced and really cheesy. This is a bit more graphic than The Suckers in that there is a fellatio scene and one quick close up of a woman's vertical smile but aside from that, the movie is still pretty tame. And unless you are interested in really dull, overlong 70's soft core sex, this will put you to sleep.

Both The Suckers and The Love Garden are awful prints. There are numerous scratches and jump cuts with the picture so faded that dirt looks actually red in some scenes. The Suckers was a "lost film" at some time so I do forgive the horrible picture quality. Vinegar is not at fault as I'm sure both of these obscure films were impossible to find and have had plenty of damage done to them over the years. But was it really worth the effort? For me, The Suckers and The Love Garden were better off left lost.

Both films: [Rating: 1.5]

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