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The Lords of Salem (2013)

Studio: Anchor Bay FilmsLords poster

Theatrical Release: April 19, 2013

Director: Rob Zombie

R

Review by Richard Rey

When a record from “The Lords” is sent to dread-locked-out disc jockey Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie), the jolting tune on the slick vinyl beckons her soul into a dark, demented world where her mind unravels one hellish day of the week at a time. And we’re yanked along for the seven-day spell.

Heidi is somewhat of a hermit, spending most her time lounging around her apartment in her pjs with her dog Troy. When she notices a new tenant in apartment 5, she makes mention of it in passing to her landlord Lacy (Judy Geeson) who tells her the flat is still vacant. Following an on-air interview with author Francis Matthias (Bruce Davison), the Lords record is played again, this time for all the town of Salem to partake. What the people and Heidi don’t realize is that the real Lords are awaiting the birth of a child fathered by none other than Lucifer himself, the bloodline running much closer to home than they ever could have imagined.

Writer-director Rob Zombie’s affinity for nude women, satanic ritual, offbeat characters, heavy makeup and other vibrant design elements unveil a mood that evokes terror, confusion and above all hellishness. Unfortunately, the same filmmaking risks taken here by Zombie that make this horror-thriller simultaneously sickening and beautiful are those that will detract mainstream audiences from seeing it to begin with.

This low-budget indie horror flick knows its place as the rejected outcast trick-or-treater knocking on the cream-hued doors of Hollywood moviegoers. And that understanding is what gives it a leg up in the terror industry. It knows it’s the impostor – the crinkled paper on its back that reads misfit comes as no surprise. But who says the ugly friend isn’t worthwhile? Sometimes the oddballs are the ones that are most entertaining because of their unpredictability.

Of all the horror films I’ve seen this year that tend to brag the same exact repetitious style and scare-tactics, I’ll be damned if this isn’t the single most unique, memorable and deeply disturbing of them all. Nearly every image that Zombie puts on the screen is repulsive – a satanic witch licking a bloody infant, towering putty-faced surgeons that act as the devil’s henchmen, a priest who forces fellatio on his victims while chanting anti-Christian obscenities. We feel uncomfortable being in the movie theater, witnessing one sick idea after another executed to near B-film perfection. And that’s what makes this film a potential cult classic.

Perhaps since The Lords of Salem is the first Rob Zombie film I’ve seen, it plays as original, but regardless, I will say this: stylistically speaking, Zombie has the same knack for trademarking his films as Tim Burton, Terrence Malick or Stanley Kubrick. You know it’s him. He knows his identity and he makes the film he intended to make, no questions asked. In an industry where cliché rules the box office, movies like The Lords of Salem will never get the respect or wide audience appeal as other knock-off, rinse-lather-repeat horror-slasher flicks – and that’s a shame, especially with all the ingenuity and creative ambition Zombie has to offer the dying genre. His tone resonates – days, weeks, months, years, decades later. Mark my word and your calendars: the release of Lords is a booming call for a revamping of the horror genre, and what better timing considering spring-cleaning is in the air.

[Rating: 4]

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