Black Scorpion (1995)
Studio: CAV/New Concorde
TV Release: August 22, 1995
DVD Release: February 7, 2006
Director: Jonathan Winfrey
Not Rated
Review by James Klein
Released originally on Showtime as one of the Roger Corman Presents TV movies that allowed more graphic violence, language and nudity than other made for TV films, this comic book superhero/vigilante action movie seems to be made for comic book nerds, geeks who jack off to issues of Heavy Metal. The tough chick in leather who fights for justice seemed to be popular in the 90's with shows like Xena and so forth, but this Batman wannabe is just too stupid to be enjoyable. Even when it knows its being stupid, the jokes just don't work.
The beautiful Joan Severance stars as Darcy Walker, a tough undercover cop who with partner Michael (Bruce Abbott, best know for Re-Animator) fight crime by any means necessary. When Darcy's father is killed and she interrogates the suspect with a little too much force, she is suspended . When a friendly hooker she knows is beat up by her pimp, she suddenly gets it in her head to become a vigilante/superhero and goes by the name of Black Scorpion. You see, Black Scorpion is symbolic because her father told her this bizarre fable about a black scorpion when she was young. Yeah whatever, just go with it...
The first thing Darcy does is go after the pimp (not the guy who killed her father, in fact he is quickly forgotten) who she kills by throwing him out a window. While I like the idea of a costumed vigilante, the movie suddenly goes into comic book superhero mode and apparently we are suppose to forget she killed a man in cold blood. While Black Scorpion is fighting crime with her new sidekick Argyle (SNL's Garrett Morris who was funny on SNL but in Black Scorpion he is fucking annoying). Argyle runs an underground chop shop who must also be some sort of fucking genius as he designs Darcy's car into a Batmobile type contraption that can change appearances and has a super built in computer that can do anything. While Argyle can do this, he still has designed the computer to turn on only if you say, "Yo!" Argyle also is upset that Darcy is the Black Scorpion because he keeps calling her the "White Black Scorpion". With a Rodney King joke thrown in for good measure, Black Scorpion is unafraid to be blatantly racist.
Meanwhile this costumed tin can named the Breathtaker that looks like a poor man's Darth Vader is running around the city controlling people by using a drug in their asthma inhalers that allows him to make them do his bidding. Can Black Scorpion and her trusty sidekick Argyle stop him (SPOILER ALERT: She stops the Breathtaker's plan of controlling the city by giving the public gas masks filled with the drug but simply typing "Disconnect" on the Breathtaker's computer)?
Black Scorpion is never meant to be taken too seriously and there were times I did laugh at a few jokes but I laughed much more at the ineptness of the film (along with a few people screaming while being shot. Do people really make a loud scream when a bullet hits them? Either way, it always cracks me up). While I am all for silliness, at least be original about it. Black Scorpion rips off too many films, most notably Batman and Batman Returns. There are even shots lifted directly from those movies. While Corman has been known to produce films the were rip offs of bigger Hollywood films like Piranha, Battle Beyond the Stars and Galaxy of Terror, at least shots weren't directly lifted out of say, Jaws! And while his films have always been done on a cheaper scale, why is there the exact same stripper at a strip club every time a scene takes place inside the establishment? Could they not find another gal to show off her milkers?
The DVD by Concorde looks ok and sounds fine but fans of this film (there are fans since this film spawned several sequels and a TV series) should be given a blu ray upgrade. Joan Severance does give an audio commentary and a video interview (she seems like a nice lady and is very energetic when talking about the film but she does look a bit lost or at least seems to run out of something to say after awhile) so at least the DVD has a few special features.
Black Scorpion reminds me of that kid at school who tried too hard to be funny. He/She would say or do something funny that would make people laugh so he/she would keep doing it over and over again, trying really hard to make the laughter continue when it wasn't funny any more. Remember folks, its never a good idea to over stay your welcome.
TV Release: August 22, 1995
DVD Release: February 7, 2006
Director: Jonathan Winfrey
Not Rated
Review by James Klein
Released originally on Showtime as one of the Roger Corman Presents TV movies that allowed more graphic violence, language and nudity than other made for TV films, this comic book superhero/vigilante action movie seems to be made for comic book nerds, geeks who jack off to issues of Heavy Metal. The tough chick in leather who fights for justice seemed to be popular in the 90's with shows like Xena and so forth, but this Batman wannabe is just too stupid to be enjoyable. Even when it knows its being stupid, the jokes just don't work.
The beautiful Joan Severance stars as Darcy Walker, a tough undercover cop who with partner Michael (Bruce Abbott, best know for Re-Animator) fight crime by any means necessary. When Darcy's father is killed and she interrogates the suspect with a little too much force, she is suspended . When a friendly hooker she knows is beat up by her pimp, she suddenly gets it in her head to become a vigilante/superhero and goes by the name of Black Scorpion. You see, Black Scorpion is symbolic because her father told her this bizarre fable about a black scorpion when she was young. Yeah whatever, just go with it...
The first thing Darcy does is go after the pimp (not the guy who killed her father, in fact he is quickly forgotten) who she kills by throwing him out a window. While I like the idea of a costumed vigilante, the movie suddenly goes into comic book superhero mode and apparently we are suppose to forget she killed a man in cold blood. While Black Scorpion is fighting crime with her new sidekick Argyle (SNL's Garrett Morris who was funny on SNL but in Black Scorpion he is fucking annoying). Argyle runs an underground chop shop who must also be some sort of fucking genius as he designs Darcy's car into a Batmobile type contraption that can change appearances and has a super built in computer that can do anything. While Argyle can do this, he still has designed the computer to turn on only if you say, "Yo!" Argyle also is upset that Darcy is the Black Scorpion because he keeps calling her the "White Black Scorpion". With a Rodney King joke thrown in for good measure, Black Scorpion is unafraid to be blatantly racist.
Meanwhile this costumed tin can named the Breathtaker that looks like a poor man's Darth Vader is running around the city controlling people by using a drug in their asthma inhalers that allows him to make them do his bidding. Can Black Scorpion and her trusty sidekick Argyle stop him (SPOILER ALERT: She stops the Breathtaker's plan of controlling the city by giving the public gas masks filled with the drug but simply typing "Disconnect" on the Breathtaker's computer)?
Black Scorpion is never meant to be taken too seriously and there were times I did laugh at a few jokes but I laughed much more at the ineptness of the film (along with a few people screaming while being shot. Do people really make a loud scream when a bullet hits them? Either way, it always cracks me up). While I am all for silliness, at least be original about it. Black Scorpion rips off too many films, most notably Batman and Batman Returns. There are even shots lifted directly from those movies. While Corman has been known to produce films the were rip offs of bigger Hollywood films like Piranha, Battle Beyond the Stars and Galaxy of Terror, at least shots weren't directly lifted out of say, Jaws! And while his films have always been done on a cheaper scale, why is there the exact same stripper at a strip club every time a scene takes place inside the establishment? Could they not find another gal to show off her milkers?
The DVD by Concorde looks ok and sounds fine but fans of this film (there are fans since this film spawned several sequels and a TV series) should be given a blu ray upgrade. Joan Severance does give an audio commentary and a video interview (she seems like a nice lady and is very energetic when talking about the film but she does look a bit lost or at least seems to run out of something to say after awhile) so at least the DVD has a few special features.
Black Scorpion reminds me of that kid at school who tried too hard to be funny. He/She would say or do something funny that would make people laugh so he/she would keep doing it over and over again, trying really hard to make the laughter continue when it wasn't funny any more. Remember folks, its never a good idea to over stay your welcome.
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