Schoolgirl Report Volume 8: What Parents Must Never Know

Studio: Impulse Pictures
Theatrical Release: Nov. 28th, 1974
DVD Release: May 8th, 2012
Rating: Unrated
Directed by Ernst Hofbauer
Review by Craig Sorensen





OK, so this is my first Schoolgirl Report film.  I feel a little embarrassed about that but there it is.  I have had the Crippled Dick Hot Wax soundtrack compilation on vinyl for a number of years so I am familiar with the series, I just never got around to tracking down any of the films.  So I was kind of excited when I got this disc to review.  Would the film live up to my expectations?  Really, the soundtracks are pretty great so I did have somewhat high hopes.  While I wouldn’t say it’s a complete disappointment, it really isn’t the revelation that I was hoping for.

So the Schoolgirl Report films were set up as a series of special reports for parents and, um, “concerned” adults about the sex lives of teenage schoolgirls.  Of course, it’s pretty obvious that this is just a pretext for lots of nude young girls.  The films are structured in an anthology format, I’m assuming to maximize the number of girls and sex scenes.  Having never seen any of the other films in the series, I can’t say how closely any of them actually adhere to the ‘report’ aspects.  By part eight though it seems that they’ve pretty much abandoned it.  Not that it matters much I guess.  This film follows a group of girls as they take a bus trip out to the country to stay at a hostel near a farm.  Along the way the girls tell stories about fucking.  That’s about it.  The filmmakers do try to throw in a little bit of drama with a pregnant girl and a teacher that may be sleeping with one of his students, but they really just seem superfluous.  They don’t put too much work into those plot threads and they are both resolved very easily in the end.  Really, no one is watching these things for actual insight into teenage behavior.  The whole point is to jam as many boobies and bushes into a somewhat narrative structure as possible.  And director Ernst Hofbauer does just that, with little fuss or flare.  He just gets out of the way and let’s the naked ladies do all the work.

Schoolgirl Report Volume 8 doesn’t look too good to me on DVD.  It does seem to be in it’s original aspect ratio of 1.66:1 so that’s good but overall the image seems really soft.  Some of the colors seem a bit faded but for the most part are acceptable.  There seem to be some jagged lines around a few objects, usually where there is a big jump in contrast from the foreground to the background.  It almost seems like this was taken off of a 1 inch tape source.  Audio seems fine to me.  The only option that you get is the original German mono track.  Of course you also get some English subtitles.  There are no extras at all.