Bad Teacher (2011)

Columbia Pictures (Sony Entertainment), Radar Pictures, Mosaic Media Group
Theatrical Release: June 24, 2011
Home Release: October 18, 2011
Director: Jake Kasdan
Rated R
Review by Adam Bielawski

Bad Teacher kicked but… on the home version don’t even bother with the theatrical release just go straight to the raunchy UNRATED version! Bad teacher is hilarious and fun. This movie has just enough profanity, raunchiness, sexual innuendos, some T&A and all with a happy ending.

Bad Teacher begins with the last day of school at John Adams Middle School (JAMS) with an announcement by Elizabeth Halsey (Carmen Diaz) that she is retiring from teaching after one year in the classroom.  We quickly learn she was not your greatest teacher who flies at high speed in her red Mercedes yelling “Bitches.” Elizabeth’s enters her home to find her fiancé and mother announcing that the engagement is off because she is nothing but a gold digger.  Later in the movie Elizabeth confides with a fellow teacher that her only ambition is to land a rich guy.

Things don’t go too well for Elizabeth; she loses her fiancés, mansion and even the Mercedes. Now that she has no money and must start again to fend for herself, like the rest of us working stiffs.  She finds a guy roommate on Craigslist and even has to return back to JAMS to teach the seventh grade. Many of Elizabeth’s best attributes are that she swears like a sailor smokes dope, drinks up and even stating that she screwed everyone on the Chicago Bulls, “those guys even take the condom because they are so paranoid.”  That line just had me rolling with laughter.  Throughout the movie there are some good one liners that brought me more than a few chuckles.

As our story moves on, Elizabeth is back at the teacher’s desk rolling movies on the tube during class because she is usually hung-over or just has something else in mind than teaching.  When enters the new substitute teacher, who also happens to be a wealthy heir to some watch company, Scott Delacorte (Justin Timeberlake). She quickly tries to warm up to the new sub. While sharing things about him, Scott shows a photo of his ex-wife in a bikini and Elizabeth catches that she was very well endowed. Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch) comes overs and introduces herself to Scott and his eyes quickly loose Elizabeth’s attention and navigates to Amy’s breasts.  Not too long after this introduction with the three Elizabeth learns that Scott and Amy are dating…. Now the competition begins for Scott between Elizabeth and Amy.

Elizabeth begins to research how to get breast implants at a cost of $10,000 which she does not have.  She pursues her family, her ex-fiancé and anyone who she could think off to give her the money with no success.  Through various activities to save for the $10K she participates in the annual school car wash; a sexy s scene ‘not to miss’ which made some jaws drop in the film. During a teacher meeting an announcement is made that the teacher with the highest state test scores will win a prize $5,700.  Elizabeth turns from a dud teacher to having her class read books not even on the syllabus.  After grading the tests she calls the students idiots and figures out how to steal the answers.  But her colleague Amy turns her in which turns into an investigation. However Elizabeth has quite a few tricks and Amy looses the battle.

In the end, Elizabeth Halsey decides not to get her breast done, learns that true love is not made of money, starts to date the gym teacher (Jason Segel) and returns back the next year as a student counselor.