Not Another B Movie (2011)

Studio: Troma Entertainment
Directed by John Wesley Norton
Home Release: November 8, 2011
Not Rated

Review by Adam Bielawski

How the hell did they cast Ed Asner?

Not Another B Movie is about a writer, director and producer hashing out a script for a new slasher B movie.  The setting is in some restaurant/café over lunch, dinner and drinks.  In addition you have a waitress, who is kind of pushy, and at times does not mind her own business, who is also an actress. Not Another B Movie is over an hour, and it was grueling to sit through because it's completely sucks! The plot does not go anywhere, the humor is dry, filming seems to be terrible, and much more of just pure trash.  If you have seen this movie, you have my full sympathy for wasting over an hour of your life.  If you bought this movie out of ignorance return it before you open up the plastic.  I have no idea how crap like this gets into the consumer market; however, I have seen worse. The positives are that the box cover is kind of cool, a sexy half dressed girl, some nice design works with fonts and because it's a B horror movie some blood.  Also I want to totally give a huge hoorah to the advertising, marketing, promotions and distributors, they got this movie out to the consumer and people will pay hard earned money for this boring and unimaginative piece of crap.

The movie has our three film makers brainstorming about a script. Through out the movie (if you want to call it that) scenes jump while they conceptualize the script. Each have their own opinion, the writer is completely frustrated because of the complete rewrite through out the whole film. Basically, you break in and out of the restaurant to a slasher serial killer slashing his young female victim, but get this; you never really see anything beside blood being splattered.  Aside from some profanity this movie may only have been PG.  So maybe it is geared at a very young audience who are developing there reasoning and differentiating what is good and bad.

Then you have no other then David Faustino who played Bud Bundy on Married with Children; man his career certainly blossomed into a dead rose. Hopefully he's making money off the reruns. Faustino plays a cop trying to catch our serial killer, who at times takes the law in his own hands with a partner that just looks the other way.  So you have some actual scenes going about in the direction of the making of this slaher film.  Then you jump back to the three in the restaurant with the producer thinking about merchandizing a slasher doll.  So the scene now leaves the three…to the producer (I think) pitching the doll to toy makers and others who can sell the slasher doller (this guys needs to talk to the folks who actually distributed this movie).

I hate to admit that one short 10 second scene did give me little grin; however, I don't think it was really the movie, but it was a quick appearance by Ed Asner. Asner is showed this slasher doll which is holding a long knife and as he picks up the doll, he makes sound impression from Psycho. That is probably the only entertaining thing in this whole movie.  How or why Asner was in this movie... I just assume that he is relative of someone involved with the film or he owes someone a HUGE favor.

Let me now get back to the restaurant. Remember the waitress who wants to be an actress? We are taken to a scene where the waitress is on break talking with her work colleagues about a horrid audition she had some time back. Basically picture her all dolled up with a director or someone in film production, "I'll do anything to be in a movie," then the man's hand is on her shoulder with her clothes falling off.  Kind of lead to another type of movie…the waitress's character is on her way to be the next huge movie star. So that is kind of how this trash ends, she confronts the writer and begs him to cast her. At first he ignores her.  He goes back to his table, the other two are in the bathroom or something, and some young girl, maybe 10 years of age, tells him she is a fan and goes into detail how great his scripts are but have bad production… basically this young articulate critic tells the writer that he will get his big break eventuallybut shouldn't give up. So our writer now is feeling optimistic and shares his good feelings with the want-to-be actress, "I'll do anything, I mean ANYTHING" to be in a movie… to call him in two weeks.

I know I missed scenes but that is because I could not sit through this without pressing the pause on the DVD player, trying to recover from this awful mess.