Top Guns (2011)

Studio: DP Digital Playground

Blu Ray Release: March 2011

Not Rated

Review by James Klein

It's been a long time since I have seen an adult film and let me tell you, things have changed since the 80's and 90's. The sets and production value have gotten much better as rooms don't look like four flats with a painting hanging on the wall and a raggedy old couch in the middle of the room. Now that adult films can be shot in HD and not off VHS, adult films are given a certain class; a step up from the older adult films I was used to seeing. The stars also seem to be much prettier and the men aren't these hairy, overweight regular Joe's off the street.

For me, the best adult films are the ones that are movie/TV parody's. I still remember classics like Miami Spice, I Cream of Jeanie, Edward Penishands, Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning, Dickman & Throbbin, Intercourse With a Vampire, and The Texas Dildo Massacre. While the name Top Guns isn't as witty or clever, the movie still delivers some hearty laughs and follows (or copies) the story of the 1986 blockbuster.

Adult film starlet Jesse Jane stars as a pilot who, with her companion get accepted to Top Guns Academy, the jet fighter pilot school. While there she must deal with another woman (the beautiful Kayden Kross taking over the Val Kilmer role) who believes she is the best female fighter pilot and doesn't want her role taken away from her. And yes, while at the school every student and instructor get it on.

What surprised me about Top Guns was the fact that there are huge gaps between sex scenes. I can see a young kid trying to watch this without getting caught and having to chapter skip to the "good stuff" as the movie literally tries to be a legitimate film by re-doing some of the more popular scenes from Top Gun. We get the bar scene where one of the pilots tries to sing, we get the bald superior yelling at the women because of their flying, we get the volleyball scene, we even get Kayden Kross imitating Val Kilmer's mouth bite that he did to Tom Cruise. These little homage's made me laugh and helped make Top Guns from being just another adult film. What does stay the same however are the sex scenes. Those go on far too long and just bore me to death. Maybe it was the way they were shot but at times I couldn't see anything but the back of a head or some guy's butt pounding away. One scene had a guy spit on a mirror and forcing one of the girl's to lick it! The sex scenes are neither sexy nor interesting and that is one of my reasons for not being a fan of adult films.

But Top Guns is a much better adult film from when I was a young man wanting to take a gander at the female genitalia. Sure, some of the ladies may have fake boobs and everyone seems so hairless but at least the film is tolerable to sit thru and I don't feel so guilty (or dirty) watching it. I enjoyed the homage's to Top Gun and I can see the effort the cast and crew put in to make Top Guns a decent adult film. Digital Playground even goes out of their way by including a blu ray and a DVD copy of the film, loaded with extras that to me was even more interesting to watch than the actual movie.