Killer Yacht Party (2006)

Studio: CAV/Troma/Dark Alley Films
DVD Release: May 10, 2011
Not Rated

Review by James Klein

Although made in 2006, Killer Yacht Party is just finally being released on DVD five years later. After watching the film, I think the movie could and should have remained on the shelf. A better title would have been Boring Yacht Party. Don't let the semi-interesting cover fool you, this is a dull mess of a film.

The movie's thin plot tries to focus on two young women, a hot slut and a nerdy musician who are best pals and try and pick up men at bars. One night at a club they are invited to a private party on a yacht ship by a coked out rich guy who thinks he's in a Martin Scorsese film. Once on the ship, everyone starts to screw everyone over (literally and figuratively) until a black gloved killer starts to off everyone, one by one. The two women seem to be the center of the film but there are so many characters that after awhile I couldn't tell who was the protagonist and who was the antagonist.

Shot on a VERY low budget (I love the odd echo in everyone's voice when people are talking at a dance club) Killer Yacht Party is so boring and dull that you must drink caffeine while watching the film just to stay awake. It takes almost an hour before the first kill takes place. Now, not all horror films need kills but when you are making a silly film and it is called Killer Yacht Party, then the film needs to be a little exploitive at least. Throw some good bloody kills, throw some tits on the screen, shit do something! The filmmaker is more intent on having characters just stand around and talk. We are introduced to so many stereotypical characters on this boat, it just becomes a bore and so needless. We meet the crazed pot dealer, the psychic, the nerd, the cool guy, the slut, etc. Director Piotr Uzarowicz builds no suspense at all while we meet these ridiculous characters and after awhile I forgot I was even watching a horror film and not some episode of Jersey Shore or The Real World.

When the body count starts, Uzarowicz starts to intercut flashes of black for some strange reason. Was this to cover up the bad make up effects? Is this suppose to be "stylish"? Some of the dialogue did make me laugh out loud like when the slutty best friend is having sex with a guy her friend likes and is caught, he continues to bang away at her but she stops and says, "No, she's my best friend." Or when a guy confronts a girl and says, "She's around the back in the room getting FUCKED!" All the actors range from mediocre to awful but it is hard to blame them when they are given a script like this. There is however a back story about this yacht and it may or may not have ghosts on board but none of this storyline is focused and like the rest of the film, it becomes boring.

Listen, I am all about low budget films and commend the people who work on them by trying hard in getting their project finished. But you need to make the film at least exciting or suspenseful. Someone should have seen this film and stopped the film makers and said, "We need to edit this movie down a little." But in retrospect, no editing could really save Killer Yacht Party. Don't board this boat.